JACK’s Predictions for 2007

- Thursday, February 8th, 2007 -

Gazing Into the Stars -
Ok yeah, first off we are a couple of days late with our predictions for 2007 but since when have you known JACK to be punctual, accurate, or informative? We thought so, but for dung and giggles we thought, what the hey?

1. Britney Spears, in an attempt to return to normalcy, will marry the George Costanza guy from Seinfeld mistaking him for one time hubby, the other Jason Alexander.
2. Barry Bonds left bicep will explode from steroid use thusly ending his chances at starring in Over the Top 2: Electric Bugaloo with Sylvester Stallone.
3. Oprah’s Book Club will stage a hostile takeover of Congress and will decree Running with Scissors mandatory reading for 3rd Graders.
4. USU will win the NCAA football national championship and celebrate by lining up on State Street in Salt Lake while sticking their tongues out screaming, neener neener neener to the both schools down South.
5. Jessica Simpson, Dr. Phil, Rush Limbaugh, and Taylor Hicks will all be abducted by aliens, never to return to Earth. (Oh sorry, that was our Holiday Wish List)
6. Surprisingly enough Gary Coleman will be the one to officially bring sexy back.
7. The REAL Salt Lake deal will rise from the ashes of this past season like a phoenix and will finish next year much improved at 4-12.
8. Celebrity deaths in 2007? We’ll take Harry Potter, Bea Arthur, and Andy Griffith.
9. Rhode Island, the Dakotas, and Mississippi will all be kicked out of the United States of America for not being able to offer anything at all.

And lastly . . . .

10. JACK FM will continue to playing what we want!

Posted on Thursday, February 8th @ 12:00 pm.