Resume Blunders
- Thursday, April 26th, 2007 -
Crazy things on the Resume
Wanna’ Get a job with JACK? Well- If your that stupid, maybe your stupid enough to make some of the following mistakes when submitting a resume. The followin are actual things that have happened when recieving resumes.
A job candidate…
1. ... attached a letter from her mother.
2. ... used pale blue paper with teddy bears printed around the border.
3. ... explained a three-month gap in employment by saying that he was getting over the death of his cat.
4. ... specified that his availability to work Fridays, Saturdays, or Sundays is limited because the weekends are “drinking time.”
5. ... included a picture of herself in a cheerleading uniform.
6. ... drew a picture of a car on the outside of the envelope and said the car would be a gift to the hiring manager.
7. ... listed hobbies that included sitting on a levee at night watching alligators.
8. ... mentioned the fact that her sister had once won a strawberry-eating contest.
9. ... stated that he works well in the nude.
10. ... explained an arrest record by stating, “We stole a pig, but it was a really small pig.”
Posted on Thursday, April 26th @ 2:38 pm.
This Week’s Music News
- Thursday, April 12th, 2007 -
What’s Happening This Week in the Music World- Sanjaya and a Bowl Cut and much more.
Music News
Scavenged from VH1, Billboard by jyospe@1031jack.com
KFC GIVES SANJAYA AN EXTRA CRISPY OFFER TO DO A BOWL CUT. One thing that American Idol contestant Sanjaya is best known for is his hair, and Kentucky Fried Chicken wants to take advantage of that. Hoping to promote their Famous Bowls, KFC has made an offer to Sanjaya. The chicken cookers will give the singer five-thousand dollars cash and a lifetime supply of the Famous Bowls as well as make a charitable donation in his name to Colonel’s Scholars if Sanjaya sports a bowl hairdo during an upcoming Idol performance. On top of the other incentives, if he does his hair in the bowl do, KFC will give him a starring role in their next commercial. The company’s president wrote to Sanjaya, “The judges and critics may think you’re a long shot for a recording contract, but at KFC, we think you’re a real ‘original.’” Keep watching American Idol to see if Sanjaya steps up to the plate or chickens out. This week’s elimination airs tonight at 9 Eastern on FOX.
JOHNNY CASH’S FORMER HOME BURNS. According to a press release from Johnny Cash’s sister Joanne, the Hendersonville, Tennessee home that Johnny and June Carter Cash lived in for most of their marriage, burned down yesterday afternoon. The house is currently owned and being restored by Bee Gee Barry Gibb but the Hendersonville Fire Department told CMT News yesterday afternoon that the home was fully engulfed. The Nashville Tennessean reports that the home on Avondale Drive sustained heavy damage and nearly the entire local fire department was dispatched to the scene to fight the blaze, just northeast of Nashville. The fire began when construction workers were on the property, but as of press time, there was no known cause for the blaze. Fortunately, there were no injuries.
BON JOVI POSTPONES BOOK… Jon Bon Jovi’s biography has been “postponed indefinitely,” and so has his corresponding concert to benefit the Book Industry Foundation. According to the online media business magazine MediaBistro, no specific reason was given for the delay of Bon Jovi’s book, which is titled Believe. As for the June concert, which was to also feature Amy Grant, the head of the event coordination said that the publisher of the book “approached us with the firmest conviction and every belief that Mr. Bon Jovi would perform.” He added, “Unfortunately, as we all know in this business, things change fast and books do, on rare occasions, get postponed. This can sometimes be a bitter pill, especially for those of us who work in the event planning business.”…
…BUT BON JOVI WILL PLAY LIVE EARTH. The U-S portion of Live Earth will take place at New Jersey’s Giants Stadium. Bon Jovi will play at former Vice President Al Gore’s Live Earth concert amongst an eclectic line up that includes Roger Waters and The Police along with rap artists and country singers. Jon Bon Jovi once told us that… (Actuality #1) “A good song is a good song and it just defies formats and that’s the magic to songwriting.” So the audience should enjoy all the good songs from Kanye West, Fall Out Boy, AFI, Akon, Kelly Clarkson, Ludacris, Rihanna, the reunited Smashing Pumpkins, Dave Matthews Band, Alicia Keys, Faith Hill and Tim McGraw, John Mayer, KT Tunstall and Melissa Etheridge who are among the other artists confirmed to perform at that event. Tickets for the New Jersey show will go on sale Monday at 10 AM through Ticketmaster.
BRANDY OUT OF TALENT. TMZ is reporting that Brandy has, in fact, been replaced by Sharon Osbourne as a judge on the upcoming season of America’s Got Talent. Rumors have swirled that Osbourne was in talks with NBC since the R&B;star is in the midst of lawsuits stemming from a fatal car crash she was involved in last year. Osbourne was previously a judge on the U-K reality show The X-Factor. Earlier this year, Jerry Springer was chosen to replace Regis Philbin as the show’s host since Regis is recuperating from bypass surgery. The second season of America’s Got Talent is scheduled for this summer.
SHERYL CROW IS SPURNED… In Touch magazine has named Sheryl Crow the unluckiest woman in Hollywood when it comes to finding love. She tops the list of women who keep striking out, followed by Jennifer Aniston, Paula Abdul, Hilary Duff and Tyra Banks. Laguna Beach and The Hills star Lauren Conrad took the six spot, with Mariah Carey, Carrie Underwood, Kirstie Alley and Cameron Diaz rounding out the top ten in that order.
…BUT SHE STILL GOES GREEN. Sheryl Crow is currently amidst her Stop Global Warming College Tour. According to the Associated Press, the 11-stop trek also features Laurie David, who produced An Inconvenient Truth. Crow performs, while David talks about climate change. The duo are traveling thanks to biodiesel fuel and the next stop on the tour is Baton Rouge, Louisiana. For more info, hit up SherylCrow.com.
Posted on Thursday, April 12th @ 12:40 pm.
Alien Sighting Off Hawaii’s Coast
- Sunday, April 1st, 2007 -
Scientists confirm validity of Islander fisherman’s pictures
Well, I suppose you clicked on this link expecting a story about an alien sighting, or about how the martians have finally landed and are slowly conquering such as in Orson Welles’ radio program “War of the Worlds.” Well, you’ve been duped by a classic APRIL FOOLS.
Now, How about some of the greatest April Fool’s of all time. Here’s 103.1 JACK fm’s top five.
#1: The Swiss Spaghetti Harvest
In 1957 the respected BBC news show Panorama announced that thanks to a very mild winter and the virtual elimination of the dreaded spaghetti weevil, Swiss farmers were enjoying a bumper spaghetti crop. It accompanied this announcement with footage of Swiss peasants pulling strands of spaghetti down from trees. Huge numbers of viewers were taken in, and many called up wanting to know how they could grow their own spaghetti trees. To this question, the BBC diplomatically replied that they should “place a sprig of spaghetti in a tin of tomato sauce and hope for the best.” Check out the actual broadcast archived on the BBC’s website. --MORE--
#2: Sidd Finch
In its April 1985 edition, Sports Illustrated published a story about a new rookie pitcher who planned to play for the Mets. His name was Sidd Finch and he could reportedly throw a baseball with startling, pinpoint accuracy at 168 mph (65 mph faster than anyone else has ever been able to throw a ball). Surprisingly, Sidd Finch had never even played the game before. Instead, he had mastered the “art of the pitch” in a Tibetan monastery under the guidance of the “great poet-saint Lama Milaraspa.” Mets fans everywhere celebrated at their teams’s amazing luck at having found such a gifted player, and Sports Illustrated was flooded with requests for more information. But in reality this legendary player only existed in the imagination of the writer of the article, George Plimpton. --MORE--
#3: Instant Color TV
In 1962 there was only one tv channel in Sweden, and it broadcast in black and white. The station’s technical expert, Kjell Stensson, appeared on the news to announce that thanks to a newly developed technology, all viewers could now quickly and easily convert their existing sets to display color reception. All they had to do was pull a nylon stocking over their tv screen, and they would begin to see their favorite shows in color. Stensson then proceeded to demonstrate the process. Reportedly, hundreds of thousands of people, out of the population of seven million, were taken in. Actual color tv transmission only commenced in Sweden on April 1, 1970.
#4: The Taco Liberty Bell
In 1996 the Taco Bell Corporation announced that it had bought the Liberty Bell from the federal government and was renaming it the Taco Liberty Bell. Hundreds of outraged citizens called up the National Historic Park in Philadelphia where the bell is housed to express their anger. Their nerves were only calmed when Taco Bell revealed that it was all a practical joke a few hours later. The best line inspired by the affair came when White House press secretary Mike McCurry was asked about the sale, and he responded that the Lincoln Memorial had also been sold, though to a different corporation, and would now be known as the Ford Lincoln Mercury Memorial. --MORE--
#5: San Serriffe
In 1977 the British newspaper The Guardian published a special seven-page supplement in honor of the tenth anniversary of San Serriffe, a small republic located in the Indian Ocean consisting of several semi-colon-shaped islands. A series of articles affectionately described the geography and culture of this obscure nation. Its two main islands were named Upper Caisse and Lower Caisse. Its capital was Bodoni, and its leader was General Pica. The Guardian’s phones rang all day as readers sought more information about the idyllic holiday spot. Few noticed that everything about the island was named after printer’s terminology. The success of this hoax is widely credited with launching the enthusiasm for April Foolery that then gripped the British tabloids in the following decades.
For more of JACK’s favorites click here.
Posted on Sunday, April 1st @ 1:00 am.